Fifty thoughts.....(and some Shades of Grey!)

A friend asked me today "Why haven't you been keeping up your blog?, I enjoyed reading it!"  I couldn't come up with a good answer, other than just being a bit lazy, and I guess part of me just thought "Do people really like to read all this?"   So thank you Robin for giving me a poke, I have had a few things going on in my head lately, and if your the only one reading, enjoy!!

I usually don't give the new year much thought, other than trying to remember to put the correct year on my checks, ( I usually catch on mid-February!)  This year has been different,

 I turned 50 on January 3rd.

For the past few weeks, that's all I could think about....I'm going to be fifty.  I never paid that much attention to getting older, until now....Everywhere I looked I was reminded of aging.

Words like, "mature," "senior," and "menopause," seemed to show up everywhere,

 (or maybe I just noticed them more!)

  So when the day finally arrived, I woke up with a terrible cold.  Confined to the couch all day, I had nothing better to do than think. Naturally, my thoughts went right to turning 50, but this time I asked myself a question, 

"Do I really want to be in my 20's or 30's again?"

***  In my 20's (before kids) I was in college, broke, and spent most of the week figuring out what
       I was going to do on the weekend, what I was going to wear & waiting for that "Guy" to call,
       etc. etc.  Staying home was not an option! (almost ashamed to admit all  that!)  -  Nope don't
       want to go back there.  I'm quite happy spending weekends home (with the same guy) a good
       bottle of wine and a movie.   I still can't get over the clothes thing though, some things never
       change!

*** The rest of my 20's were spent having babies, changing diapers, getting only
       4-5 hours of sleep a night (sometimes a day!) and trying to find some "adult time!"
       Definitely don't want to go back there!   It was an experience I will forever cherish,
       but if I get woken up in the middle of the night now (even for a hot flash!) I know it's not
      to change a diaper, or make a bottle, (maybe it's for some adult time LOL) and I can always sleep
      in!

***  My 30's were spent raising 2 boys,  PTA meetings, making endless batches of
        cupcakes,  play dates, basketball practices and long division.  I started to get into crafts
        and sewing, but if I didn't have a pattern it wasn't going to happen!  -  Nope  can't do that again
         I am certainly great full  to have stayed at home and been there for my boys, but I
        HATE long division, and play dates are a lot of work!  More importantly I have learned that
        creating your OWN idea or pattern is  much more rewarding.  I have defined my style,
        and developed my own techniques.  Creating is easy when it comes from inside!

*** My 40's were spent going through high school again!  Need I say more (and it's a lot tougher
       the 2nd time through!) I was able to carve out more time for myself, I began creating and
       figuring out what I was good at.  Also started to be an "adult" and had to learn the hardest
       parenting lesson, 'LEARNING TO LET GO!"...(Still working on that one)  -  Can't say I'd really
      want to go back there, it wasn't a bad time but it was frustrating,
       ( I was all over the place, my husband was so patient and supportive)
         Seeing  your children become independent is a wonderful thing, but it's also eye opening.  I
       came to realize, they don't need me as much any more, "Now what do I do?"     


*** So here I am 50, and I realize I don't want to go back.  I don't feel "mature,"  or "over the hill."
       I feel the same way I always felt, like me. I'm excited about what's next, I know what I'm good
       at and what makes ME happy, and so lucky to be  in love with the same man (and two younger
       ones!)

I guess there is something to say about having a "Sick day on your 50th birthday"  I enjoyed the trip back in time, but more important, I realized that right now is so exciting, and I needed all those experiences to get me to this point, I shouldn't dwell on the "age" thing,  but just enjoy the age!  I will never be 20 again (and don't want to be), I won't be a size 8 again  (even if I want to be)

but at some point I won't be 50 either, and I want to look back at those years with the same smile on my face!    

I realize I have broken just about every rule of "blogging"  too much talk, no pictures, and the topic

is only meaningful  to me, but I've read that when your "50," you should be able to do

whatever you want!!!

 So for the few of you who have  kept up with me so far, thank you, it's tough to be a good listener,

and as a reward you are the first to hear about my Facebook giveaway.

Details will be available shortly,  so stay tuned!

 

      
     

        As for the "Shades of Grey"  bring it on, I''m game....  

I'm talking about a few "grey" hairs, what did you think I  was talking about?????

Laters,

Brenda